The Unbearable Lightness of Being

She floated on the balls of her heels, her crimson toenails scraping lightly against the unpolished marble and she floated down the hallway. A heather grey robe hung loosely from her frame fastened against her tiny waist. Like a geisha in a terry cloth kimono, her face washed over pale as a slate, her lips stuck out, scarlett against the artic backdrop as if it had been painted on her face by a steady skilled hand. She leaned over the counter and picked a chip off of the porcelain platter and brought it to her lips. The salinity instantly hit the back of her throat and stirred her gag reflex, she reached for water and tried to wash it down. But instead it incited a horrible fit coughing and she propped herself against the sink and waited for the pain to subside.

According to You

He wants to put her away in a beautiful box and hide her away from the world and everything that hurt her.
And as he watched her from afar, her eyes glimmering wet, he closed his and imagined for a second how pretty she might look if only she could smile.

Epilogue

Once upon a time, there was a very beautiful girl who lived in a magnificent castle and everyone loved her.

The end.

Xmas

Christmas was supposed to be:
Me waking up hungover from a crazy christmas eve party, putting on a pretty dress and sneaking over to his house in the morning to surprise him with a home cooked (pre-ordered) christmas turkey breakfast. Then I would say
"I know we weren't supposed to exchange gifts this year but I have a surprise for you."
And he would be all mock angry and go
"You're doing one of those things!"
And I would smile and pull out a brown envelop with a ribbon around it, holding my breath as he unwrapped it- a photocopy of my application to uwa that I had made out after the last time I returned from Perth. His jaw would drop.
"Are you serious?"
And I would nod my head. "I promised to take you away didn't I?"
And everything would be perfect.

You know you're off the deep end when you've spent the past week sleeping on the floor of your parents bedroom.

No One Reads This Blog

Might there be a possibility that instead of being an evil attention-seeking manipulative bitch that I really just am at the end of my rope here.

I kept everything to myself and everyone knew I was getting sick so there were all these awful rumors that were going around. All my friends had no idea what was going on and they were worried sick, so I decided to tell them the truth. And they appreciated it, and they know that it's not accusatory or vindictive or anything.

It's just me trying to piece my life together again.

Breaking Point

Why do I still protect you?

I must have been a shit person for you to put me through all I went through.

Fly

The horizon was dotted with blinking lights, like a swarm or fireflies hovering in the distance. The winds around her billowed, teasing at her blouse, drawing her forward. She rocked gently on her toes, forward and backward, forward and backward, sidewalk and railing, sidewalk and railing. She could have sworn there was music playing in the distance, a symphony orchestra but one where every member had kinda lost their gusto, as if they've been playing a marathon and are just about ready to give up.
She was waiting for her cue, there wasn't one. She waited and waited, standing there for what seemed like an hour.
And then the music stopped.
She spread her arms embracing the world below, and tilted herself forward for the last time. her vision blurred, it felt like she was running, running faster and faster.
In her mind there wasn't a sickening splat, there weren't hysterical screams, in her mind, the music played again, loud as if she was the only one standing in the front of the concert hall looking up in awe. It was an explosion of trumpets, violins, horns, drums and every instrument possible and for the first time in a very long time
The girl smiled.

Say hello to forever.

Rest In Peace

I wish you bluebirds in the spring

To give your heart a song to sing

And then a kiss, but more than this

I wish you love

And in July a lemonade

To cool you in some leafy glade

I wish you health

And more than wealth

I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree

That you and I could never be

So with my best

My very best

I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm

A cozy fire to keep you warm

But most of all when snowflakes fall

I wish you love

R.I.P
Leigh/ Lee
December 2009